well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize