your parents love me but you hate me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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