last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
