you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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