I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
