Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Randomize
