Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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