so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
