he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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