so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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