I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
