yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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