ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
