Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
