I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
