Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
