I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I believe in your delicious
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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