If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
