Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
