Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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