He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
