Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
