you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
