I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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