Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
