Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
