Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
