Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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