"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
