She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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