I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
