Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
