Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
