I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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