If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
