that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
