Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
