It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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