Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
