We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
