i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
