i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
