haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
