It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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