..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
