Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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