I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
