just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
they need to just BURY HIM!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
