Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
