Three words: puerto rican gang bang
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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