It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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